So it's been over 4 years since I wrote something... should tell you that I have been busy. But really? Nah... I've always had things to do but somewhere in the busyness of life I forgot to take time out for myself. Many of us don't realize the importance of this but we all should. So on my 26th birthday, when I still have finals and a presentation due tomorrow morning, I choose to take some time out for myself and do what I have not done for so long, what I love doing... write.
And yes, out of all the potential topics I have thought to write about in the past 4 years that could never materialize, I'm gonna go with the moment and write about you. Because you are very dear to me and I can't stop thinking about you.
The year 25
Things don't become possessions easily. It comes either through a profound sense of belonging or an event that develops the fondness. I can say you were a mix of both. When we first came face to face, I had no tingling sensation, no sixth sense, no awe nothing... so by all means nothing extraordinary. After all, you had to happen and we both knew we'd part ways in an year. But as we spent time, I grew fond of you. So much that by the end of it I was crazily in love with you and never wanted to let you go. You truly had a transformational effect on me.
It was a new setting for me. I was there because of the choices I made. Choices that I can admit today, I did not fully understand. Fittingly, it was not like a kid in the toy store that I had expected. I started rather in a shell and I'm glad that I did. Because coming out of the shell is an experience I enjoyed to the hilt. At 25, I could actually observe the process and marvel at its phases. Have you ever observed a small child who comes to your house as a guest? Afraid at first... hiding behind his parents for that sense of protection. But once he has spent time with you and your toys, he couldn't just sit at one place. It was like that for me. Being a total child as I am, I was afraid at first> I think it was one of the deepest rooted fear of mine, being unsure of yourself and intimidated by the flair of others. But you showed me how these 'others' are just like me. How when you know how to play with the toy... it doesn't matter.
I started becoming fearless. Taking up things I wouldn't otherwise, doing things I would never do. With each one of those things that I did for the first time, you showed me how little did I know about the world. Imagine I gave up Windows and tried Mac. It was not just a change in the OS of my pc, you taught me how to embrace change. How its okay not to be the best as long as I'm enjoying the cruise. How important it is to know the counter argument of an argument before you make an opinion. In the classrooms I'm now learning what I don't know... not what I'm good at, my list reads golf, salsa and guitar, I impress myself by making bread omelets, noodles and dal, my mom compliments me on my vegetable cutting skills and I'm earning some change too... in short, I'm having fun.
But like all good things, you had to end. Tonight I realized that its time to bid farewell to you. But tonight, after turning 26, I also realized that I'm growing old. When I was with you I felt so much younger. 10 years ago when I was in the 11th standard someone asked me the question "Where do you want to be in 10 years?" I think I answered that I want to earn lots of money and be a boss. I realized that it's actually been 10 years and the answer could be validated today. Was sitting in a classroom in California speaking to an audience in a suit part of my plan at all? Did I become someone's boss and did I earn lots of money? Did I fail the 16 year old me? You could argue but what I say today is... who cares. Life is all about the choices you make and have fun in the process. In 10 years from now I just want to be healthy, wealthy and wise. More importantly I want to be happy. The world is a much better place when you are happy.
Soo, I know you had to go and I know we'll never see each other again. But I will always cherish the time spent with you and you'll always have a special place in my life (writing a post vindicates it huh?). Thank you for teaching me how to love myself... again. I bid goodbye to you with content n my heart that I treated you well and promise that I'll keep having fun. Whatever I do.
Gunite.
And yes, out of all the potential topics I have thought to write about in the past 4 years that could never materialize, I'm gonna go with the moment and write about you. Because you are very dear to me and I can't stop thinking about you.
The year 25
Things don't become possessions easily. It comes either through a profound sense of belonging or an event that develops the fondness. I can say you were a mix of both. When we first came face to face, I had no tingling sensation, no sixth sense, no awe nothing... so by all means nothing extraordinary. After all, you had to happen and we both knew we'd part ways in an year. But as we spent time, I grew fond of you. So much that by the end of it I was crazily in love with you and never wanted to let you go. You truly had a transformational effect on me.
It was a new setting for me. I was there because of the choices I made. Choices that I can admit today, I did not fully understand. Fittingly, it was not like a kid in the toy store that I had expected. I started rather in a shell and I'm glad that I did. Because coming out of the shell is an experience I enjoyed to the hilt. At 25, I could actually observe the process and marvel at its phases. Have you ever observed a small child who comes to your house as a guest? Afraid at first... hiding behind his parents for that sense of protection. But once he has spent time with you and your toys, he couldn't just sit at one place. It was like that for me. Being a total child as I am, I was afraid at first> I think it was one of the deepest rooted fear of mine, being unsure of yourself and intimidated by the flair of others. But you showed me how these 'others' are just like me. How when you know how to play with the toy... it doesn't matter.
I started becoming fearless. Taking up things I wouldn't otherwise, doing things I would never do. With each one of those things that I did for the first time, you showed me how little did I know about the world. Imagine I gave up Windows and tried Mac. It was not just a change in the OS of my pc, you taught me how to embrace change. How its okay not to be the best as long as I'm enjoying the cruise. How important it is to know the counter argument of an argument before you make an opinion. In the classrooms I'm now learning what I don't know... not what I'm good at, my list reads golf, salsa and guitar, I impress myself by making bread omelets, noodles and dal, my mom compliments me on my vegetable cutting skills and I'm earning some change too... in short, I'm having fun.
But like all good things, you had to end. Tonight I realized that its time to bid farewell to you. But tonight, after turning 26, I also realized that I'm growing old. When I was with you I felt so much younger. 10 years ago when I was in the 11th standard someone asked me the question "Where do you want to be in 10 years?" I think I answered that I want to earn lots of money and be a boss. I realized that it's actually been 10 years and the answer could be validated today. Was sitting in a classroom in California speaking to an audience in a suit part of my plan at all? Did I become someone's boss and did I earn lots of money? Did I fail the 16 year old me? You could argue but what I say today is... who cares. Life is all about the choices you make and have fun in the process. In 10 years from now I just want to be healthy, wealthy and wise. More importantly I want to be happy. The world is a much better place when you are happy.
Soo, I know you had to go and I know we'll never see each other again. But I will always cherish the time spent with you and you'll always have a special place in my life (writing a post vindicates it huh?). Thank you for teaching me how to love myself... again. I bid goodbye to you with content n my heart that I treated you well and promise that I'll keep having fun. Whatever I do.
Gunite.
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