When is it okay to ask someone what their last name is?
What’s wrong you ask? Nothing. In fact, we have all
laughed at one of the comic variations of the famous 007 phrase “Bond… James
Bond”. So the last name, as a piece of information, is something we all take
very casually. But think again, when was the last time you told someone your
last name? Not unless you were introducing yourself in a formal setting or
filling up an application form. In all casual conversations we pretty much
stick to the first name basis. Try to recollect the conversation you had with
that friend of your friend last weekend (specifically when both of you
introduced yourselves). No last names you see. But why does it matter at all?
Well…
The flight back from India (DEL-JFK) is a long flight of
almost 15 hours. You can’t sit in one place for that long. So you usually take
strolls up and down the cabin, hang around the snack galley to kill time, change
posture etc. On my trip back from India last month, I did the same. During the
last of my half a dozen trips to the galley, the cute girl who boarded the
plane in Delhi, two zones ahead of me, was also on her trip out of her seat. And
imagine, she wasn't able to find a cup for the orange juice she wanted. So I,
being a true representative of the species of my kind of guys, helped her to
the rack of cups. We hit it off instantly. During the next couple of hours of
standing in that galley, she graduated from juice to wine and I graduated from being
nice to funny. We covered a whole lot of topics from travel to tech, from
movies to books, from food to fashion, from academics to politics and what not.
Discussing these topics with someone less knowledgeable than you is always fun
(otherwise it’s informative). It was almost the most pleasant date I have had
in recent times. But as all good things must come to an end, we hit turbulence.
The staring flight attendant was finally within her rights to instruct us to go
back to our seats at once and fasten our seat belts. Sensing that we’ll have to
break up immediately, all I could hurriedly manage was “By the way, I am
Shubham”. She reciprocated with the cutest smile on her face and we shook hands
before saying bye. We landed shortly and thanks to frequent flyers’ collective
tendency of premature evacuation, I didn't get to see her again in the
immigration line. But post the 2 hour non-stop chatting, we were not strangers
anymore. I knew her name, the university she goes to, where she lived, her
hometown, her field of study, some books she liked among many other things. I
thought our impromptu date was enough to send a friend request without sounding
creepy. But I didn’t realize I was missing a critical piece. Her last name.
Needless to say that I looked her up everywhere I could. I even outsourced the job to a friend who is a self-proclaimed
specialist in Facebook stalking. She employed some novel ideas I have to admit,
but to no avail. We needed a last name to narrow down our search (and that girl
in seat 18A needs a better social presence). So when is it okay to ask for the
last name? Because it’s akin to saying that I am going to look you up on
Facebook/LinkedIn/Twitter or anywhere I could find you. It’s almost like asking
for someone’s number indicating that you are interested to explore this
interaction further. Be it a girl you like or any other person you want to
network with for a job opportunity etc. But that is something we all have done
one way or the other. So note to self: ask for the last name if you genuinely
like someone. Don’t leave it to the social networks. Also, if you happen to be at the
other end of this story and want someone to reach out to you, then please make
it a point to let them know your last name too.
Not that this was a question of life and death but just imagine what we could have said had it happened, "We met on a plane".
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